Dear Pants,
Pants, we need to talk. You keep falling down, what is with that? Now you know I have been trying very hard. You know this due to the convo's we have most evenings when I put you on for work and I tell you how good I have been and beg for your mercy around my waist/bum/legs.
So this falling down business. Stop it. Stop winding me up. I have to keep pulling you up but its not how I wanted it to be between us. I wanted it to be as good for you as it is for me. I wanted to put you on and feel comfortable and for you to be able to relax that you weren't hanging on for your life every time you met ass.
We were a team in this, driven by need of comfort/fear of tearing but we are failing. We are letting the enemy win. Its looks like I am pulling you up but I am not. I am tugging you up...because ass is winning. Ass is PUSHING you down. Stay strong little waistband (AKA big sturdy elastic waistband) we can do this together as long as you stay strong and I stay sucked in...Grrr to ass.
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